top 100 t's of the 00's

Got a spare 10 minutes? Then check this out. Top 100 t-shirts of the 2000's and though I don't entirely agree with the list, especially the top 10, there are some stonking T's in there. Sadly my "I could be the white Obama" T didn't make the list. Philistines.

gui boratto - take my breath away

I have to admit I always have my reservations about deep house or anything that is just as acceptable in a club as it is through headphones but Gui Boratto has shown me the error of my ways, this song is epic. Never quite climaxing; rolling, flowing, ebbing through your ears like a tide, leaving you wanting more. Perfect.

Gui Boratto has created perfect balance with Take My Breath Away. The deep fluid bassline is played off against a high pitched distorted electric buzz of the pseudo climax that never comes, just at the moment you think there is a peak you are dropped back down to start all over again. This is repeated through the song with minor changes each time, oddly it never gets old and you're almost reassured to find yourself back where the tune began. I think the track avoids feeling repetitive by avoiding many of the clichés that plague deep house and it's many sub genres, and injects something new with an electro/techno garnish.

The easy build up and drop down equates to this being reserved enough to listen at home and relax with while still serving as a stunning DJ tool to build the crowd up to a frenzy, a combination that is very rarely come across. Already have I heard this song being dropped into the middle of several sets from some of the worlds most well thought of techno DJ's, and I think this is a trend which is set to continue.

Boratto is part of a new wave of Brazilian DJ's and producers that are proving that there is more to the Brazilian dance scene than Latin House, Jazz and Giles Peterson. This cartel of music makers are rocking dancefloors worldwide so you would be wise to keep your eyes and ears peeled for anything forming south of the equator.

public flogging, on national tv?

Are we a nation of sadists? After watching this week's X Factor I'm inclined to say yes.

John and Edward, by all reason, should have been sent home weeks ago, yet they are still here performing for the amusement of us, The Great British Public. Poor singers, personally repugnant, hated by 3 of the judges and only tolerated by the last because Louis is lumbered with them, they are wheeled out for ridicule and amusement week after week and someone is voting for them. The explanation is that a large number of people are voting to watch these two bare their soul, then to be slowly and meticulously cut down like a bull is bled out by a matador. What's even more interesting is that the two are beginning to understand that they are the nation's embarrassing play thing, looking coy and resigned after the judges comments and exasperated bordering on exhausted hearing the news that they were going to be saved for another week of public flogging.

This also marks a shift in the public's voting habits, previous X Factors have seen people voting for and virulently supporting the act they saw as the most deserving, now they are voting for the act they deem most entertaining, irrelevant of skill or appeal. This happened years ago in the now axed Big Brother and led to Jade Goody's assault on the world, a woman who's only redeemable act was to, unintentionally, heighten knowledge of cervical cancer. More concerning is the shift in The X Factor's production to emphasise the 'entertainment' value of the two boys; dressing them up in garish suits, choosing songs they struggle to perform with any dignity and having a set design that is a cross between a children's party and cabaret.

Unfortunately this roaming band of sadists that are keeping John and Edward on my TV are not only risking the working order of my TV they are also risking the creditability of The X Factor. Once past the initial freak show that is the auditions the show switches tact to respected talent show that is considered a breeding ground for next year's pop starlets. The Twins have bridged the gap from the circus side show and, if they continue to gather support, risk debasing the importance of the winner, highlighting the show's triviality. Better yet until the duet get down into the bottom two acts there is nothing anyone -who would want to- can do about it.

What the future holds for The Twins is yet to see, with any luck they will be kept prisoner by their own popularity, repeatedly reminded that it's not their fault they are still there and it's certainly not because of talent either. Becoming increasingly disillusioned and depressed they will struggle with the fade to grey and I don't think a drugs problem or a tactically leaked porn would be out of the question. Whatever happens it's going to be unpleasant, embarrassing and on YouTube.

fame can buy you anything, even a lingerie deal

I was browsing the Daily Mail website, looking for something to wind me up when I came across this article about Peaches Geldof and Dappy getting together via Twitter, the headline reading thus: "It girl turned lingerie model Peaches Geldof Twitters N-Dubz star Dappy to ask for a date". When THE FUCK did Peaches start modelling lingerie? Infact scratch that; why THE FUCK is Peaches modelling lingerie? It's but a small step for a young, pert, attractive IT girl to make the jump from the party scene to a lucrative modelling job, but this is Peaches Geldhof. The runt. The girl considered only marginally more attractive than Bob. On top of this these picture could have only been more obviously photoshopped if I had done them myself. With a crayon. In the dark.

I think this annoys me so much because Peaches is so unfit for purpose here, maybe she could have modelled some up and coming Indy street brand, something that fits better with her personality -what there is of it- but lingerie? For Debenhams? This is all piled on top of the fact that she is kinda out of shape. I by no means want a size 0 model or some silicone princess but maybe someone who looks good without the lighting rig and Adobe CS4. This once again highlights that if you are between 18 - 30 and have had your face in, at least, The London Lite then someone, however misguided, will pay you to get your kit off. We are a nation of perves, god bless us.

i love a working man

I've not blogged about fashion for a while. I guess I've been too poor to bother with it, plus in the summer you don't really need any clothes, but I've got to say I'm loving this autumn's look: The Working Man. I've always been fond of utilitarian looks, mostly because if I wear anything too fancy I fuck it up (please see the brown leather brogues I had on my feet less than 3 hours before destroying them wrestling in gravel.) Another reason I love the working man is because I'm already half way there owning a whole wardrobe of checked overshirts and, because I get mega discount at work, far too many pea coats (five). Now all I need is some footwear, Vans are ok but you end up in the realms of surfer with them and desert boots are a bit Mod, which wouldn't be a bad thing if they weren't also far too broad for my skinny legs. What I really need are some work boots and as usual I need them cheap.

Luckily I've managed to wangle a 25% off discount code for asos bringing the cost of these (asos own) boots down to £41.45 including shipping. For own brand stuff asos is pretty shit hot, it's cheap and though you're not getting hand crafted Italian leather they will stay together through the winter, which is more than I can say for other budget brands *cough* Primark *cough* H&M. I've bought asos own Chelsea boots before now and after wearing in they were plenty comfy, sadly the sole did wear through quicker than I would have liked but after having them re-soled at a small expense they have been bullet proof.

Also asos has managed to avoid the trap that most budget clothing companies fall into; over design. Splattering your already cheap apparel with even cheaper print, logos, glitter and paint fools no one into thinking they are expensive. The attention to detail (or lack of it) and the absolutely bang-on-trend design is what makes asos an absolute gem floating around the electronic bargain bin.

Seriously, if you're after some cheap footwear give asos a go- unless you want these work boots, then you can ef-off because they're mine.

dear jan moir

Dear Jan Moir,

I know that it is impossible for us to ordain the way in which we die, however we can take steps in our lifestyle to gently sway our comeuppance in a certain direction, and this is what I intend to do. Once my life has peaked and I have achieved all that I wish I am going to engage in activities which, for some, may be seen as immoral and certainly ungodly. If all goes to plan I will go out as a result of a drugs overdose while fellating an eastern European boy at one of Dale Winton's pool parties, if this is the case please would you write my obituary.

Your sterling work capturing the colourful aspects of Steven Gately's death was an inspiration to us all, not only was your work heartfelt it was also honest, in a time when we feel oh so obliged to honour our dead. I know at the time of my death you may be engaged in other works such as writing literature for the Christian anti-gay movement in Africa or writing press releases for Nick Griffin so I will give you a few starting points to stir up the bile: Firstly I support equal rights for all, including- homosexuals, foreign workers, immigrants and first generation foreigners. Secondly I actively engage in improving support for those on a low income or on benefit. Thirdly I do not believe that all terrorists are Muslims nor all Muslims are terrorists. Fourthly I understand that the British economy is now propped up by migrant workers, not stealing jobs but doing jobs that the indigenous workers refuse to do. Finally I know that not all benefits are claimed by those who simply can't be bothered to work. If this is not enough then I would be happy to have you walked around my library of pornography and liberal propaganda including works such as 'On the Origin of Species' and 'A Hisroty of the Holocaust'.

Thank you for your time and I look forward to reading your coverage of George Michael's impending death. Hope to hear from you soon.

Jonathan.

dannii moccasins

I feel the same about Dannii Minogue as I do about these; I can't tell whether I love or hate them. Much like Dannii these are hand crafted and cheap at £13.99, so I guess I can afford to find out. I doubt they will be as grateful after sex though. Get a pair here.

st. james infirmary. cab calloway and fleischer

I'm too tired to be coherent, so I will just post this clip from an old Fleischer Brothers cartoon. Max and Dave Fleischer were early rivals of Walt Disney, creating intricate, surreal and ghoulish cartoons that were -and in my opinion still are- far better than anything Walt churned out. Funny and uniquely dark, Fleischer cartoons were popular in the early 1930's, at times, more so than even Disney's flag ship mouse. Sadly during the mid 1930's the Fleischers struggled with increased censorship and a new Production Code forcing them to tone down their cartoons and as a result stifling the obscure and risque style that had made them so popular. With the exception of Popeye, Fleischer cartoons have seen little popularity since the late 1930's, which is a shame because nothing since has come close to the gothic grandeur of these early classics.

akihabara majokko princess

I've never really rated Kirsten Dunst, but then I've never really disliked her either, I suppose she has just slipped under my radar unnoticed. However dress her up like a J-Girl from a middle aged Japanese wet dream and suddenly I have all the time in the world for her. This is what you get when you mix in equal parts an edgy Japanese Artist (Takashi Murakami), one of the new wave of Hollywood film directors (McG) and a young, attractive and I'm guessing kinda impressionable actress (Kirsten Dunst). These are some behind-the-scenes shots from the triples collaboration which has Dunst bouncing around Akihabara, Tokyo singing a cover of “Turning Japanese” -and I think that's all there is to it, sounds awesome though, right?

nice work God

I'm an atheist but there are times when I see something that makes me doubt my doubt, places, situations and events that make me think that there must be some divine being pulling the strings for my benefit.

oh look, something else I don't want

Insa and Rousseau are following the success of last years bubble chair with this new lounger and I must say I have mixed feelings: Con: it's hideous and in too many ways to mention. Pro: it has a topless chick sprawled over it- and there in lies the enigma that is Insa.

The artist/designer/compulsive whinger Insa is forever collaborating with a range of fashion and design brands the product of which is a plethora of already horrendous consumer must-haves made worse by Insa's eye bending drawing, however where there is an Insa collab there is also a set of boobs. Insa's obsession with optical illusions is only rivalled by his obsession with a good rack and in almost all the promo shots for product he has lent his pen to there will be a scantily clad model sexifying it up. It is a cheap and mindless way to sell, but it has given an extra dimension to Insa's trademark style and I think it works for him, especially considering the market he appeals to- young deginy fashiony types. It's a shame that Insa's trademark prints lend themselves so badly to anything other than a canvass (be that actual canvass or any other flat surface he chooses to adorn with his optical wizzardry) because he is definitely talented and his work is genuinely good, well thought out and I expect time consuming so it seems a waste to be ruining it on a pair of shoes, but then I feel I'm in the minority judging by his popularity and his on going and ever expanding collaborations.

You can check this chair out at rousseau.co.uk and check out Insa's blog here, though be warned he is constantly whining about people ripping his off- no one likes a sour puss.

look what happened when the bee gees weren't looking

Early 80's disco is one of the best kept secrets in music, until now. Fake Blood, a name synonymous with dance-floor filling electro, has dropped one of the greatest disco tunes since circa 1984. "I Think I Like It" has .blown.my.mind. it sounds more like a remix of some ancient Italian disco than a new track from the guy who brought you "Mars" and "The Paddle". This all new tune with it's cut and pasted vocals, slap bassline and splashed hi-hat retains Fake Blood's jerky, epic style while having it's roots firmly buried in the early 80's underground disco scene. Italo disco has recently seen a small resurgence in popularity thanks to DJ's and producers such as Erol Alkan, DJ Shadow, Black Devil Disco- and now Fake Blood can be added to the list of music makers championing a genre of music which has, for inexplicable reasons, dropped off the radar for 25 years. I think there's an argument that John Travolta and The Bee Gees killed disco, luckily now the Bee Gees are half dead and John Travolta is too wrapped up in Scientology to ruin it for the rest of us so with any luck we will be hearing more of the same from Fake Blood and the others who, like myself, love the drama of a synthesised bassline and string section strung together like lift music on the Death Star.