ok, so this annoyed me

After getting bored within 10 minutes of being conscious this morning I started looking for ways to spend my hard received Xmas cash. Looking in the accessories sale on asos (for a neckerchief and mittens) I found this Ralf Lauren tote bag in the sale with a whopping £39 off it's RRP! Wowzer! you may say, but hold that sentiment until you hear that the RRP was £110! One hundred and ten. Pounds. For a fucking tote bag. An expensive tote bag goes against everything a tote bag is meant to be; cheap, utilitarian and semi-disposable. I can't possibly understand how this has sold badly?

I'm sure this thing is well made and has plenty of pockets to stuff-your-stuff in but seriously you spend £110 on a pair of shoes and get a nice tote bag for free, the only explanation why you would spend £110 on a tote alone is that it is lined with the labial skin of vestal virgins. But lo, our lord asos spoke thus:

* - Cotton tote bag by Polo Ralph Lauren
* - Vibrant embroidered logo front detail
* - Oversized style with twin handles

At straws, clutching- no? Twin handles on a tote bag is a feature as much as ink is to a pen.

This has to be one of the most prolific examples of shameless branding on a shoddy product I have ever seen, you are truly paying for that berk on a horse and nothing else. What's more I fail to see how anyone with more than two brain cells to smash together isn't going to think you a cunt for you buying such a monstrosity.

If you want a really good designer tote bag get down the market and buy a knocked off one, they are always cooler, funnier, cheaper and you can walk around in the knowledge that you -in your own small way- are sticking it the THE MAN.

Happy Birthday Jesus.

stocking filler

I never know what to ask for for xmas so I usually just trawl websites until I find something that I think I could do with and ask for that. But this year I am CREAMING my pants about unwrapping this shirt on xmas day. Denim? Yep. Quilted? Sure is. This thing is going to be so snug fitted under a brushed cotton shirt, you have no idea. Roll on xmas day.

£40 at Topman.

russ meyer

I find it hard to fault Russ Meyer, but when your niche is soft porn with extra boobs then it's hard for you to go wrong anyway.

With a career spanning over 50 years Meyer has cemented his place in cult movie folk lore creating some iconic titles such as Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! and Supervixen, however out of the cult scene he is little known. You may not have seen any of Russ Meyer's films but it's doubtless that you will have seen his influence, because it's not the plot -which at times are paper thin- that makes you love Meyer's films, it's his style; the music, the cinematography, the direction that all contribute to an orgy of cult imagery, these aren't films they are pieces of pop art. Most of Meyer's plots can be summarised in three words: sex, violence and domination, and if you are absolutely honest with yourself then most of his work differs little other than budget and bra size, but that doesn't stop you loving it. Neither does the sexism and racism that goes hand in hand with these exploitation films because you get the feeling that it was not intended maliciously, more a reflection of the time. And what a reflection! A colourful romp across America in fast cars, beautiful women and cartoon violence!

Take these films with a pinch of salt and with your tongue firmly placed in your cheek then it's hard not to love them and with Amazon selling the box set at a boobilicious £25.48 you have no excuse not to indulge yourself.