dear world, stop ruining things i love

There is a fine line between love and hate, but not with these All Star Hi Straps, I irrefutably hate them.

When it comes to footwear, and most other clothes for that matter, I must admit I'm a bit of a stickler for originality and history, which is why I love Chuck Taylors. CTs are the original trainer, they have changed little -other than colour- over the past 90 years and are so iconic that if you're old enough to buy your own footwear you know what a pair of All Stars are and have no doubt owned at least one pair. These things are so engulfing that they are synonymous with everything from punk rock through to the American Dream, from the hippie movement to Justin Timberlake, which is why I tear out my hair when someone fucks with them.

I don't want extra straps added to my Chucks or the laces replaced with Velcro, I don't want glitter or graffiti printed on, I want a design classic to be left alone. Augmenting a pair of All Stars is like putting a body kit and under floor lighting on a '65 Mustang, only a retard would miss the vulgarity of it. Perhaps I'm exaggerating a little here, after all I've seen worse "updates" to these trainers, but the key to the Chuck Taylor's overpowering appeal is it's simplicity and when you start adding extra straps or changing the material you're ruining what makes these trainers great, so- leave them alone.