it's like wearing a hollyoaks character on your feet, but less practical

Right I fear I may be repeating myself here but I must launch into a colourful rant about Ugg boots after seeing this ad in GQ.

What in the name of all that is holy are Ugg doing advertising to men? This is some wishful thinking by a hopefully now fired marketing exec, some products just don't make the jump from gender to gender and career screaming into the gorge of embarrassing ad campaigns. What's more, and I think this is important to highlight at this stage, is that Ugg boots are the most horrific smear on footwear only rivaled by Crocs and sports sandals.

My mind spins when I try to think why women are still persisting in spending £100+ on footwear that looks like a 5 year old's drawing of a foot. I will begrudgingly accept comfort as an answer, but why stop there I ask? Why not wear fur lined padded trousers and a pajama top if comfort is what you're after, fuck the critics who think you look like you're on day release. I'm also confused as to what season you're meant to wear these things; in the winter they have no grip to speak of and soak up water like badly behaved spaniel, smelling just as bad, and in the summer they get so hot you're walking around in two pints of your own sweat and fungal infection. My fear is that people are clinging on to a fad which should have died out as quickly as it started. What's more is I think this all started with Big Brother housemates and the cast of Hollyoaks- which is no foundation to build upon, unless of course you're campaigning for the spread of chlamydia.

I think a Hollyoaks star was the first Y chromosome I saw wearing a pair of Uggs and it was a crystallising moment for me as until then I thought I had reached the pinnacle of my hatred for the wretched things. Men cannot fall on the same excuse that women can for Uggs because it's a mislead feeling of fashion and breaking from convention that leads men to wear them, and though I will be taken by a fashion whim myself from time to time, Ugg boots are unacceptable. They are useless, impracticable, ugly, overpriced and disgusting things, if you want comfort and to fly in the face of the norm then wear your slippers out- you'll get the two thumbs up from me!

I was going to add into this post what I think are attractive alternatives, however it would be an insult to you to point out that work boots are practical, brogues are attractive and practical, trainers are comfy, attractive and practical, and almost anything is an attractive alternative to wearing Hollyoaks on your feet.

So I hope you can all share my disdain for the man above relaxing on the tropical beach in his fur lined, sponge soled twat-boots.