ok, so this annoyed me

After getting bored within 10 minutes of being conscious this morning I started looking for ways to spend my hard received Xmas cash. Looking in the accessories sale on asos (for a neckerchief and mittens) I found this Ralf Lauren tote bag in the sale with a whopping £39 off it's RRP! Wowzer! you may say, but hold that sentiment until you hear that the RRP was £110! One hundred and ten. Pounds. For a fucking tote bag. An expensive tote bag goes against everything a tote bag is meant to be; cheap, utilitarian and semi-disposable. I can't possibly understand how this has sold badly?

I'm sure this thing is well made and has plenty of pockets to stuff-your-stuff in but seriously you spend £110 on a pair of shoes and get a nice tote bag for free, the only explanation why you would spend £110 on a tote alone is that it is lined with the labial skin of vestal virgins. But lo, our lord asos spoke thus:

* - Cotton tote bag by Polo Ralph Lauren
* - Vibrant embroidered logo front detail
* - Oversized style with twin handles

At straws, clutching- no? Twin handles on a tote bag is a feature as much as ink is to a pen.

This has to be one of the most prolific examples of shameless branding on a shoddy product I have ever seen, you are truly paying for that berk on a horse and nothing else. What's more I fail to see how anyone with more than two brain cells to smash together isn't going to think you a cunt for you buying such a monstrosity.

If you want a really good designer tote bag get down the market and buy a knocked off one, they are always cooler, funnier, cheaper and you can walk around in the knowledge that you -in your own small way- are sticking it the THE MAN.

Happy Birthday Jesus.