sliced bread for the Google generation

Though I am trying to avoid posting inane product based updates to my blog I really, really like this.

It's hard to find a good iPhone case, most of them take up too much space, look cheap or hinder access to your phone and because of this I've never bothered with one. Unfortunately as a result my iPhone is looking a little tatty now and I really need to get some kind of protection for it before it goes the same way as two of my previous iPods: the bin. The main problem I have with iPhone cases is that no matter how slimline they are they inevitably add weight and bulge to my pockets which are already overladen with my Ikea sponsored Oyster card sheath containing not only my Oyster card but my Driving License, work ID, Debit Card, Rail Card, a Tube map and a bottle opener- all of which I consider essential. The only way I would consider a case for my iPhone is if I could do away with my make-shift wallet, however this would render me effectively useless and thus this is as far as my train of thought on the matter would run. So it blew. my. mind. to see a 2-in-1 iPhone case and wallet; sliced bread for the Google generation.

The case-mate I.D. gives protection for your iPhone 3G/3GS while providing space for up to two of your most essential cards, while it won't be much use to someone who carries around the equivalent of a small bible in their pocket, for someone like myself who likes to travel minimal this is a godsend. Coming in an array of (obnoxious) colours and being made and tested (to make sure it doesn't de-magnetise your AMEX) to case-mate's high end standard of quality this is the only iPhone case I would ever consider purchasing. Available from case-mate.com

Offender Locator, another worthless app for my iPhone

This app creeped my out for 6 seconds and then I was fascinated by it, but for that reason it has to go. If it doesn't then the next time I'm in the pub I will be betting on the distance to the nearest sex offender.

Offender Locator allows you to search for registered sex offenders by street address or current GPS position from your iPhone. This application spent 2 weeks on the Top Paid Apps list on the American App Store before it was pulled, presumably because of the Californian law prohibiting the sale of criminal information for a profit, which means that a lot of people have this app now, more concerning is that here in the UK you can still download both the full and lite versions.

Why you would need to know the nearest registered sex offender is beyond me other than for financial gain in a voyeuristic pub betting game. It's the triviality and mobility of this application and it's information that really perplexes me. My sister has a two year old daughter and I have a little brother aged 11, neither my parents nor my sister have ever checked the sex offenders register nor do they want to check on their iPhones where the nearest sex offender lives before letting the kids loose on an adventure playground. I don't come from a family of Daily Mail readers, which is probably why I can't see the advantage of this app or the sex offenders register being made public, the only people I can see having a use for the information Offender Locator provides are the paranoid immigrant fearers that need a quick hit of panic and indignation. I would assume the Daily Mail would be enough of a fix, clearly not. For the people who genuinely feel they and their family are at risk from roaming hoards of child rapists the sex offenders register is like pushing on that loose tooth, it's painful but you kinda like it.

What exactly do we gain by knowing the last registered address of a sex offender? In reality fuck all. Other than not sending your kids round to the house to trick or treat this is no good way to protect yourself or others from sexual attack, after all the world is a chaotic and random place. Plus sex offenders are not house bound. The fact is that here in western countries, in particular the UK and USA, we love paedophiles, we can't get enough of them- it's an irrational fear and obsession we have for reasons I don't fully understand. I think in part it's down to media hype and that we love a good stereotyped baddy, whatever the reasons it's a morbid fascination that Offender Locator plays up to, it's like your very own Hollywood celebrity tour but for sociopaths and the mentally ill.

The fear mongering that Offender Locator brings to bear is unbelievable but in America they can go one better. The Family Watchdog's (an American website listing sex offenders) iPhone app "also analyzes the threat level at the phone's location, and delivers a concise summary so that users can quickly gauge their personal risk." I.E. you can now accurately determine how close you and your family are to a gang raping. No one knows fear like Middle America, Middle England is a Glaswegian dock worker by comparison.

Offender Locator is one of the reasons I hate iPhones, there are too many awful app's out there. I can see even less use for this application than for the Virtual Zippo or iPint both of which -despite being amusing for less than 3 seconds- are rammed down your throat every time you go to the pub with some prick with an iPhone. Next time I do go to the pub I expect to be discussing this app because odds on someone will pull it out and look up the nearest sex offender, the only small mercy is that Offender Locator doesn't work too well in the UK- but this could all change with a new update.